Abuse of the Emotions

It is quite easy to spot the marks when a person has been physically abused. However when the emotions of the person are abused, the marks are well covered in that person’s personality and behaviour. And most of us, when we see those behaviours, would probably cringe and isolate that person again, as those behaviours might be narcissistic ,draining, overburdening, attention-seeking and much more. Emotional Abuse is not something that happens in a particular kind of relationship or to a particular gender.

Emotional Abuse slowly erodes the victim's sense of dignity, security, and faith in themselves and others. An emotional abuser does not cause physical harm by beating, kicking, pinching, grabbing, and pushing and so on. Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his/her weapon of choice. This can happen in a parent-child relationship or in a romantic relationship. And the victim sometimes builds an iron wall around themselves for protection from further future damage and that can be perceived as “Emotional indifference” or “Narcissism”. Sometimes the victim would then want to dominate or would see if self-subjugation in the form of pleasing others to the extent of hurting the self would help.

Let us also get it straight that it is not emotionally abusive to break up or argue with your partner. It is not emotionally abusive when someone reacts to what you have done with hurt. Here are few pointers to see if you are being in an emotionally abusive relationship:

  1. Constant criticism or attempts to manipulate and control you

  2. Shaming and blaming with hostile sarcasm or outright verbal assault.

  3. Uses shaming and belittling language to you on a constant basis

  4. Verbal abuse which included name-calling.

  5. Withholding affection.

  6. Punishment and threats of punishment.

  7. Makes decisions that affect both of you or the family without consulting you or coming to an agreement with you.

  8. Becomes overly and inappropriately jealous of attention from or conversation with others.

  9. Refusing to communicate at all.

  10. Isolating you from supportive friends and family.

If you are being in a relationship that does not give you an emotional satisfaction, then it might be something you would want to consider talking to a counsellor. You have one life and your happiness is your choice. It might have been tough so far and probably exhausting to be in an emotionally draining and abusive relationship. BUT you need not face those concerns alone. A counsellor can help you identify the issues at hand and assist you in making choices that would make you happy and free!

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