Emotional Infidelity

When it comes to marriages and romantic relationships, the term ‘infidelity’ is not unheard of. However, does this term cover only the physical aspect of a relationship, or can it be extended to the emotional aspects as well? The answer is yes. The framework that defines emotional infidelity can seem to be blur and there is a possibility of this framework being termed as platonic.


Emotional Infidelity usually begins with a friendship (with the third party involved) and then develops into a connection that simulates the closeness and emotional affection of a romantic relationship while never being physically consummated. It is usually referred to as an affair of the heart, but an affair nonetheless. Unlike friendship, this particular relationship usually involves a sexual chemistry between the two and there is definitely some fantasies playing wild in their imagination(s). It may even lead the two parties involved to share unflattering details about their relationship with each other. This would be inevitably hidden from their respective significant others.


The friendship mentioned earlier blossoms due to the confidence they begin to have with each other and the comfort in sharing the intimate aspects of themselves, their relationships, or even subjects they wouldn't talk with their partners. Although (as stated earlier), this relationship does not involve “getting physical”, it could quickly pass that barricade. Of course, the whole process might take a while to kick off, but after the first few intimate moments, things begin to cascade.


Here are some warning signs that might help you identify if you are in the area of emotional infidelity:

  1. When you take a major or minor decisions (like buying new clothes or changing your house) if you are thinking about what your “friend” will think, instead of how your partner will react.

  2. If you are lying to your significant other about seeing your “friend”.

  3. You compare your significant other to your “friend”

  4. You do special things for your “friend” that you don't do for your other friends.

  5. You tell your “friend” things about yourself that you haven't told your significant other.

  6. "We're just friends" becomes your response to what others think about your relationship.

  7. Your mood can fluctuate wildly, depending on whether you're getting positive signals from your “friend” or not.

Emotional infidelity can occur when the relationship you are in, is not causing you happiness and satisfaction. Moreover, your partner may not be the sole reason for the relationship not blossoming. Therefore the possibility of a fall-out or something related happening in the next relationship you get into is quite high.


If you are looking for a loving and caring relationship, while you are already in one, you need to talk. There might be a good enough reason as to why you had decided to be with the person you are presently with, in the first place. What must have caused an emotional vacuum in your existing relationship? Or do you sense a possible vacuum forming and hanging like a dagger above your love?



If you want your true relationship to work without being involved in emotional infidelity, you should definitely consider talking to a professional counsellor trained in such aspects of relationships. Have courage and own your life.


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