Getting Over a Heart Break

There is probably nothing more painful than to see the person we love, move on in life, while we are still stuck in love. It can be quite distressing and heart breaking. It would appear that moving on is not an easy task. Nobody would claim that it’s easy; however nobody said it is impossible either.

If we are to focus on moving forward at a faster pace, we might not be able to do so. It all begins with accepting the situation we have found ourselves in. This is of great importance to the healing process. Moving on and away from the person we loved, even before we are ready, would only increase our distress. Where we find ourselves right now, is exactly where we belong. It is quite essential to see our reactions to this life event as natural. After all, we are humans. Our brains and bodies are wired to have powerful (and painful) reactions to rejection. The break-up of a relationship can trigger a surge of chemicals that makes us feel lonesome, dejected, unhappy, and probably worthless. As mentioned earlier, it is quite a natural state of misery. Nonetheless, it is of vital significance that we learn to face our fears, as it can be tempting to avoid it. We may be fearful that it will be too excruciating, especially since we just lost someone precious.

However, suppressing our grief might result in depression, anxiety, obsession and despair. Steering away from grief would keep us stalled and powerless. Grieving is a necessary reaction to loss – it initiates that process of healing we very much require. Grieving is how we slowly, but surely. start to let go of what might have been, and adjust to what is. And over time, our outlook will naturally shift from what must have been “I must demonstrate I am a worthy mate for her/him” to probably “I can reclaim my own sense of worth.” Grieving is what sets us free from the pit of sadness.

Few Important Tips:

  1. Write or talk about it to your friend, family or counsellor. Expressing our feelings would give us relief – unburden yourself.

  2. Remind yourself of all the good things in your life. Make an effort to look out for the positive things that has happened in your life so far.

  3. Take care of your body and be active. However do not exert your body over its natural limit. Eat well!

  4. Pamper yourself by doing the things you love.

  5. Be with people who accept and support you as it can help in easing the feeling of rejection.

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